Faith after baptism: in conversation with Josephine
Josephine looks back on her baptism last Easter. She previously said that faith would walk with her forever. It is worth noticing that Josephine draws more strength from her faith than before her baptism, yet she still thinks that her general experience of faith won’t change much.
Interplay of shared joy
If Josephine could be baptized again, she would sign up for it in a heartbeat. “It was a beautiful moment. Everyone was there for me and was happy to share such an important moment with me. Everything felt fitting: the beautiful symbolism, the cohesion; it was indescribable, a true togetherness. I was overwhelmed by it. When receiving my First Holy Communion, the priest even had to remind me to say ‘amen’ after receiving the body of Christ. I was so caught up in the moment that I simply forgot,” Josephine laughs. “But the priest also knew that it was very important to me. He even said softly ‘finally, right?’, just before I was baptized. Indeed, finally. After all those preparations with the other candidates for baptism, and having supported each other so much on this journey, it was indeed a feeling of ‘finally’. Now I belong to this family too. That was already the case, because I came into contact with the community of St. Cathrien through my work as a painter. Because I was received so warmly, I started thinking seriously about taking the step towards officially converting to Catholicism. But now that I am officially Catholic, it gives me an extra special feeling.”
New space for faith
Josephine has adjusted her lifestyle in small ways to give her faith more space. For example, she has placed a cross in her studio as can be seen on the picture. But she also actively strives to be a good believer. For her, that means being there for others and continuing to study the Bible, as she already did. She also finds even more peace in Mass now, because the symbolic rituals feel more real to her now that she fully understands them and is allowed to participate in them, such as receiving the host. “I derive spiritual added value from that, and that journey of faith will always continue to develop,” she says.
No loyalty stamp system
So Josephine cherishes her faith and incorporates it into her daily life. Does she feel the need, or even necessity, to tell others about her faith so that they can experience the same because of that? No, quite the contrary, even. “I see that some people treat faith and its spreading as a kind of loyalty stamp system: ‘If I feed five people on the street and convert three, then I am already halfway through the ‘loyalty card’ that I can exchange in heaven for a luxury like a Jacuzzi.’
That approach annoys me to no end. If you do that, you’re no longer acting in the name of your faith, but out of the interest of your ego. That only creates resistance in the person you are trying to convert. And you do a terrible disservice to what faith is really about. I believe that God has His ways of revealing Himself to people. As far as I am concerned, such a method of winning souls doesn’t fit with that. He will reveal Himself to you at your own pace, in a way that suits you and in which His love is evident in and of itself.”
Support from people and community
For Josephine, that self-evident nature of God’s love has become visible primarily through the sense of community she finds in the community of St. Cathrien. “As a child, I was often stared at as ‘the odd one out.’ It felt as if people were against me. Here, people are with you. Because of that, my gratitude for this parish is immense. We share nationalities and different ideas, and we come together in faith. That creates a deep sense of connection. I am especially grateful for a number of people. Frank always had answers to my questions and a complete reading list ready whenever I wanted to delve deeper into the faith. Pastor Paul helped me tremendously with my preparation for baptism. I got to know Irene better and better, and she wanted to be an acolyte for me during my baptism because she knew how much that meant to me. When you have people like that around you, it is not difficult to believe that God loves you.”